At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
