Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
