I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
