I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
