The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Boobs are out for the taking
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
