The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
