he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
