Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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