ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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