Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
