and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize