In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
