Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
