i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
