alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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