do herpes really smell.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
