a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
