So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
