After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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