you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
