I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
try to milk me bitch
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
