This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
