i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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