Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
