I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
