Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
