You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
