I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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