...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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