yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
