I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
