chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
