haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
