I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
