I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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