so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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