Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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