I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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