The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
