so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize