im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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