I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
