ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
