he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ttyl tear gas
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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