Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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