only if we run a train.
done.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
