I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
