I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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