i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
