I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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