My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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