she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
