My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do vagina's smell?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
