That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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