Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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