maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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