Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
