I think i peed on brittanys purse
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
