whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
time to smoke my breakfast
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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