this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
