I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
