am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
