he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
3pm strippers are depressing
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
