nut hugger
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
