alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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