we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
