They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
