Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize