Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
