i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Randomize
